"Keep smiling. It makes everyone wonder what you have been up to." (That's a sign that used to be in my maternal grandmother's home and I took it when she passed. I used to enjoy reading it and wondering what made her want to hang it up. Me? I know exactly why I have it.) Anyway, on to the ten for this week and the next:
1. Friends/family/co-workers who read my e-mails: I type 81 wpm so it's nothing for me to send a long e-mail. I've heard complaints, compliments and jokes about it. One guy I used to talk to said he'd slip into a bubble bath with a glass of wine and read my e-mails. An old friend/past co-worker used to tell me she'd read my "Bible" messages (meaning as long as the Bible). My mother cracks jokes about printing the e-mails out. Some folks complain about them, and so I try to keep my messages shorter for them (because if there's one thing I know how to do, it's to ignore people as quickly as they want to ignore me -- and when you start getting one word/sentence long responses from me, I truly just don't like you). But back to my brighter note: I asked a couple of buddies of mine about a guy situation in a three-part e-mail. Yes, those e-mails were lengthy, as in a page or two. Not only did they read them within 24-36 hours, I got long messages back. I love it when people are as interested in my life as I am theirs and make time to hear what's going through my mind. It takes me a long time to open up to people about my personal life (trust me, nothing on this blog is something I wouldn't say to a ballroom full of people), so if I share something with you and ask for your advice, I really want it. And I appreciate that they took time out of their busy days to see what was going on in mine. At the risk of being cliche and quoting rap music, *in my Jay-Z voice* "You could've been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me." And you better believe it's mutual. I read every single e-mail, Amazon comment, Tweet, letter, card and anything else that's sent my way. Hell, I even go through press releases from publicists who don't bother to make sure I'm the right person to send them to and reply back. If you sent it to me, you obviously felt like I should want to know so I'll respect that wish every time.
2) Behind the Music (Nas): I am relentlessly critical about his persistence with using the n-word, but I am still very much a fan. I remember seeing him perform live at DePaul University, and it only cost me $5. I have owned all of his CDs minus the untitled one (you already know what the name of it originally was). I had the beat for "Dr. Knockboot" as my voicemail in college for a couple months and used to rap that song (and Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin'" all the time). While watching "Behind the Music" last night (twice), I looked at him and Kelis and thought how friggin' cute they were together. I wish those two would've worked out because it was cool seeing how happy they looked, and I cracked up about him saying "gold tooth for no reason." I remember going back and forth with a high school friend about whether "Ether" was necessary and him blasting "One Mic" while we were headed to a party. Plus I still love and respect that song "Bridging the Gap." There are so few hip-hop songs dedicated to fatherhood, and I liked seeing him and his father showing off their talents. Okay, and yes, he's gorgeous (with and without the chipped tooth).
My mother involuntarily reminded me that I needed to do this for the week. So here it goes, my top five things that made me smile this week.
1. Wack Over the Head: I said something smart to my mother a few minutes ago and she had a stack of paper in her hand. Wack. She slapped me in the back of the head with it and I laughed so hard that I made her laugh. It didn't hurt of course, but I was so caught off-guard that she did it and went into a fit of giggles. It was the type of thing my great great aunt would do with her cane (scoot around swinging it) and I told her she's been spending too much time with her. Guess you had to be there, but it was funny.
2. Kevin Hart talking about Trey Songz "R&B voice": I didn't know about this lady's weave catching on fire until a week ago. It reminded me of that scene with Kimbella on "Love & Hip-Hop," but the way Kevin Hart reacted was funnier than the stripper patting Kimbella's real hair out. However, the way Kevin Hart said Trey Songz reacted had me dying laughing.
I'm set for this week, but these videos were so funny that I decided to do an installment for next week's five. I have watched these four videos nonstop on Thursday night and laugh every single time.
I still remember interviewing Steve Harvey about his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." You can read it by clicking Other Publications and scrolling to the comedian's photo. I cannot wait to see the movie based on his book "Think Like a Man" next Friday. Speaking of that, I've got another thing that made me smile.
1. Two days off: Being off on Fridays and Saturdays: I couldn't think of a better schedule. Hearing my bosses tell me my two new days off were these two days was the highlight of my day (a couple weeks back). Love it!
2. Regina Hall: I never thought anybody could be funnier than Kevin Hart from this cast, but Regina stole the show. What she did to Terrence J. made me cry laughing. I was not prepared for her to do that.
3. Kevin Hart being a distraction: The interviewer tried to keep this interview serious, but Kevin Hart acted a damn fool and I loved every minute of it. Michael Ealy had a terrible time trying to stay serious, and it cracked me up even more. At 1:38 she did have a great point though and momentarily got all of the guys' attention before they lost it again.
4. The line about 'negro kids' and Tijuana Jackson cursing them out at the end: I remember my brother cracking up laughing at Romany Malco in "40-Year-Old Virgin" and I loved that movie, too. I knew he was funny. I was amused at him trying to kiss Angela Yee on The Breakfast Club interview. But up until tonight, I had no clue about Tijuana Jackson or this ridiculously funny (and ignorant as ever!) interview with the "Think Like a Man" cast. My gawd, if this isn't a train wreck I don't know what is. I don't know how they kept it together after the "negro kids" line. Terrible! I laughed so hard at that one.
5. Chocolate Droppa and Tijuana Jackson together: I'd seen a few videos of Chocolate Droppa (Kevin Hart's alter-ego) but to put Tijuana Jackson and Chocolate Droppa together was classic. And my gawd, when he got on that segway, I almost fell off my desk chair.
P.S. I'd tweeted about how funny Romany was while typing this blog and I got a DM from him thanking me. Aw, that's nice! Cool, glad he read it.
Best luck on the film, fellas! I'll be there opening night. And to Mr. Harvey, congratulations on a job well done and for the interview. I read the book a few years ago, but I think I'll re-read it this month after watching the movie.
It's that time again to count down five things that made me smile this past week so here we go!
1. Betty White's "Off Their Rockers": I am all about "The Golden Girls." I TIVO that show and watch it whenever I'm relaxing at home and/or while I'm doing my hair before work. Those are my TV friends right up there with "Living Single" and a couple folks from "A Different World." But Betty White's new prank show entertains me far more. I can't get enough of watching these seniors play jokes on their younger victims. I rewound the old guy skateboarding at least five times and took the DVD to my grandfather's house so he could see it. Damn DVD wouldn't play in his DVD player, but I'll be back again because I want him to see it.
2. Jarod's front on "Real Housewives of Atlanta": The other guys who did the foot and hand massages and fed women strawberries were all well and good. But that's regular stuff. This Kenyan guy Jarod stepped into Kandi's shop with the kind of sexy that just doesn't show up everyday. I was honestly stunned looking at this man with his shirt off. He's got a young face and looks a little bashful, but he took that red shirt off and I paused my television. I rewound him turning around at least five times. I've seen handsome guys before, but this is that strong raw appeal. *round of applause for Jarod's parents for creating him and to whatever workout equipment he uses*
3. Jarod's back on "Real Housewives of Atlanta": I don't care that I mentioned him in #2. He deserves a separate entry just for how he takes care of the back of himself. Yes, his pants could've hid his boxer briefs a little, but they sat at a tasteful angle. Give this man a standing ovation!
I like artists who seem comfortable in their own skin. Sometimes I'll see an artist who looks like he's (or she's) determined to be a carbon copy of another successful artist to make it. I respect those who aren't like anybody else.
1. Justin Timberlake's Futuresex/Loveshow Live from Madison Square Garden: I was watching him on "Friends with Benefits" before I went to work today and now I'm watching this DVD I got from Netflix. Yesterday a co-worker mentioned to me that Justin Bieber wants to be like Justin Timberlake. As far as I knew, Bieber looked up to Usher. I don't see anything similar to him and Justin Timberlake outside of being white. But there's something I genuinely enjoy about watching Justin Timberlake perform. I don't own any of his CDs but have bought all the singles, seen all his movies and love to watch him dance live. He easily embraces hip-hop culture without looking like he had an overdose of BET. His voice is nice on the ears without trying too hard. And he's cool. While the term "swag" is being incredibly overused these days, J.T. actually has swag. And after watching this DVD and hearing all these songs I knew nothing about, I'm headed directly to Amazon to buy it all!
2. iHeartRadio 24/7 Comedy Radio: I listened to this today at work after getting an e-blast and I am hooked. I was in a good mood the entire day at work cracking up laughing at this collabo of comedians. Some jokes are edgy but none are disrespectful. There are icons like Bill Cosby and Chris Rock mixed with newer comedians I'm not familiar with, and the collection is diverse. I will be glued to this station when I'm trying to stay in a good mood.
I have these random dreams that don't make any sense. There are others that I think are easy to interpret. Then there are dreams that I have that aren't supposed to make sense but prove that a person is on my mind. Sunday morning I had a dream about my great great aunt. She asked me to go shopping with her for a black skirt. Whenever I asked her why she needed it, she changed the subject. She didn't want any other relative to know we were shopping for this black skirt, just that she wanted it. We went to the mall, ignored phone calls and just shopped. I woke up, called my great great aunt, she was coughing and sounded completely drained on the phone. I put my hair in a ponytail, threw some clothes on and drove straight to her house. I spent my Sunday with her from around noon to 8 p.m.
1. Quality time with my great great aunt: The dream still doesn't make sense to me, but she was interested in hearing it. Not only that but she found it hysterical that I got locked out of her place after taking the garbage out and considered hopping the fence. Watching a 100-year-old woman slap her legs and bust up laughing for several minutes thinking of me climbing a fence was enough joy for me. To hear her on the phone, she sounded absolutely sick. As soon as I got there and for the next eight hours, she was grinning and cracking jokes the whole time. Making her laugh made me laugh and I did plenty of smiling, too. (Neither of us could figure out what the dream meant, but there was one time [in real life] we went shopping for two hours looking for green shoes. Maybe this mystery black skirt went with those green shoes.)
Man, I'm totally behind on doing these weekly blogs but still determined to do them. Even if I'm the only one that reads them (not true considering I see my web visits per day, thanks for visiting!), it's therapeutic to think of things that make me smile. There have just been so many high and low moments in the past month so some will be from February and others from March.
1) Talking to my godfather, Elvin: I spent two hours on the phone with him today. There is 100% chance I'm going to hear some great stories, laugh more often than not and then we'll go into deep conversations about society and probably touch on finances. I can talk to him about anything, and he'll give me the raw, uncut version. Crazy about him (and his southern accent when he says "Monnie").
2) Watching Hugh Laurie on the deaf teen episode for music vibrations: The "House" scene was to find out if the guy who had a hearing impairment could somehow feel better with music. Now normally people would think House would come in with classical music or maybe some random pop tune. Nope, he comes in with his cane, a big boombox and is dancing to Public Enemy's "Fight the Power." I died. I loved that scene so much that I rewound it to watch it again and again.
1) Celebrating my great great aunt's 100th birthday: Although she has a habit of "I'm old. I'll say anything I want" and we both have very strong personalities, I love her. I asked for Feb. 8 off to make sure I was there the morning of her birthday. I can count on one hand the number of people that I'd go to breakfast with at 8 a.m. after being at work from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m., but I was up. My mother and I took her to breakfast and then my great great aunt talked me into coming back for a senior citizen party she had at 3 p.m. By the time I went home, I was good and delirious, but it was worth it.
2) Talking my grandfather into coming to my great great aunt's party: Before he was married, he would hit up every "tavern" from Hawaii to Chicago. He'd traveled to so may locations around the world that his map of tacks were crammed together. But at 88, a party animal he is not. I can get him to go to China Hut and occasionally we'll go shopping, but he's not the type to be at big group events excluding his own family reunion. However, he said "yes" to coming with me to her 3 p.m. party. And let me tell you my grandfather is the best date ever! I was glued to his hip the entire time, and we were over on the side cracking jokes and having a good time eating chocolate cake and ice cream. My great great aunt did some mild flirting with him, too, and he threw it back at her. Those two! Wow!
I've got some family members who I think would be great if they ever stepped foot onstage at a comedy event. In the meantime, I enjoy spending time with them, especially my parents and my grandfather. I've got a couple buddies who keep me laughing, too.
Here are a few things that were said to make me laugh/smile on Valentine's Day and a couple of gifts, too.
1. My grandfather's latest creation: There is never a dull moment with this guy. You leave him alone long enough and he's going to do something strange. I just so happened to glance at his dining room table to see he'd done this only a few minutes after I walked out of the room.
2. My grandfather's V-day quote: "You can have your valentine as long as you'll still be my punkin." (That's just plain sweet! He calls me "Da Punkin" all the time since birth.)
3. My grandfather on why he won't snitch on our conversations: "Hey, when we talk, what you say is Vegas. Whatever's done in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas." (Gotta love Grandad for being the one I can vent to or get his opinion, except when it comes to relationships. He tries to play it way too safe with that. He'll listen but when it comes time for me to ask him what he thinks I should do, his usual response is: "You're not going to have me giving you bad advice. I need to hear his side, too. I don't know him. If he came in here and plunked me upside the head, I still wouldn't know we were talking about him." (BTW, I would strongly suggest not plunking my grandfather on the head. If you do, he will revert back to his war days and knock you halfway across the room. :-) And after he's done, turn around, CAUSE HERE I COME!)
1. The Breakfast Club: I have no idea why I looked up The Breakfast Club. I'm not from New York nor have I ever been to New York. I had never heard of Charlamagne The God, Angela Yee or DJ Envy, but I remembered this joke Charlamagne made on Twitter about how folks better not mess with Chris Brown at an awards show because he showed up in jean shorts. I thought that was kinda funny and from the amount of followers, I figured he was probably popular but I had no clue why. For whatever reason I still can't recall, I looked up The Breakfast Club on Power 105.1 Monday and I've been listening to this show at work everyday. They are hilarious, and I usually can't stand to hear people talk on the radio. I like these personalities though.
2. Hood State of the Union: I found out about this while listening to Charlamagne talk to T-Pain. He said something about T-Pain and Kevin Hart stealing an idea of his, and I looked him and Lil Duval. Although I didn't find the rap they were talking about, I did luck up on all of these ridiculous videos about their views on entertainment. I laughed through almost all of them.
Shamontiel has published over 800 online and print articles. She's now the Digital News Editor for the Chicago Tribune, but the opinions in this blog are hers alone. While some blog topics won't be discussed out of professional courtesy, chances are if you've read her older copy, you know where she stands on certain issues. And for the topics she can discuss, it's on! Feel free to leave thought-provoking comments and funny ones, too.
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