I had a debate on Facebook that went from being civil to completely ignorant with one user, and while I won't focus on how the forum did not go the way I originally planned it, it's still on my mind. So, I'm going to voice my opinion about how I feel about the topic of hair and health here where I can do it without somebody testing my patience. Of course comments are always welcome.
The original comment was from a user who mentioned someone saying something offensive about her natural hair. My mother wears her hair naturally and I like it. My brother does, too, and I like his. I can see the beauty in natural hair as well as relaxed hair, and I unapologetically have no desire to not have a perm. It's a preference. But I thought the comment that was made to the person who started the forum was dumb. There's absolutely no logic in insulting someone for the way she chooses to wear her hair. If she likes it natural, she's not bothering you. If I like mine relaxed, I'm not bothering anybody either. But I made a couple points:
#1 I'm running into women who wear their hair naturally who somehow have convinced themselves they have the golden key to happy life, like women with relaxers are somehow lost and don't accept ourselves.
#2 I'm really getting tired of sistas spending so much time worried about their hair. I wish this type of energy would be focused on our health. I've seen too many women with beautiful hair and their health (sexual health, diet, blood pressure) are shot to shit.
Sometimes people are a little surprised that I don't like erotica fiction. Never have, never will. I think too much of it is for shock value and using nicknames for private parts over and over again and giving in-depth details about who is doing what in a sex scene is a waste of space to me. So why are people surprised that I don't like erotica fiction? Because I'm quick to talk about safe sex in raw detail. Before I go into why, I do want to point out that I'm not against sex scenes in a book. I just cringe through sex scenes about characters I don't know. I can't stand opening a book and there's a sex scene in the first paragraph. I have another reason, too, but it involves a graphic scene in a ghostwriting project that I thought was absolutely repulsive. If I gave away that scene, you'd know the book (maybe) so I won't. But I will say I think sex scenes in books should be done tastefully, and we should actually know the characters and be excited they're doing "the grown" because we're invested in the characters. I also think it wouldn't hurt if books mentioned safe sex and STDs more. (No, I'm not about to go into a promo about "Round Trip.")
Update 12/7/2010: After seeing how many people were also going Digitally Dead I wondered, "If all of these people participating would join, wouldn't we all raise the $1 million ourselves?" I decided to cancel my Digitally Dead promise and just donate myself. I donated to Alicia Keys and then Swizz Beatz. I could've gone without Facebook, but I'd have missed Twitter. However, I felt more satisfied to just donate instead of not use the social networking sites where I try to link to stuff that I think we should know about anyway (outside of my random ramblings). You can still donate to the link below if you like though. I still support donating to the organization.
Shamontiel Vaughn sacrificed her digital life to help save millions of real lives affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa and India. That means no more Facebook
updates from her until enough money is raised to buy her life back. Shamontiel joined Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz in sacrificing their digital lives to fight HIV/AIDS. Donate $1 or more by visiting this link: http://bit.ly/hEl6pV
I've reached out to friends, family, readers, strangers and students. I've volunteered for events with awareness groups like BEHIV, covered HIV/AIDS Awareness events on college campuses and am quick to tell a person I'm dating about safe sex. I'm not the person who shies away from the topic of STDs nor am I the person who will hesitate to ask if a guy has been tested for HIV/AIDS. But what I've found in my journey is I spent so much time talking about HIV/AIDS that I didn't pay enough attention to the most common STD--HPV
. This one is so crazy that over 50 percent of sexually active people can get it while using condoms. The only upside is 90 percent of people who get it can fight it from their natural immune system (according to CDC
), but that's still a helluva thought. Imagine being safe every time and then walking into your gynecologist's office or your doctor's office to find out you have an STD, but you've taken every precaution outside of abstinence. Well, if you don't know about HPV, I'm here to tell you about that and give you more tips on safe sex and sex in relationships. Please visit each and every link when you get the chance.