I enjoyed every word of what Rev Run had to say because his views remind me of many happily married couples I personally know. I was happy both of them teamed up for this book for one major reason.
Anyone who read my Chicago Tribune review of "How to Get Out of Your Own Way" (also the top Amazon review with 128 of 141 helpfuls -- and I found that out today because I haven't been on Amazon's site in about a year) knew I was going to have something to say about "Manology." I ordered this book as soon as it came out, and to no one's surprise I didn't agree with pretty much everything Tyrese had to say about relationships. His views are like watching reality TV. You think you should probably change the channel, but they're just so terrible and entertaining. While I can't wrap my mind around why he's so unapologetically difficult, hypocritical and needy (he admits to this in the book), it blows my mind that he doesn't appear to even want to improve on these qualities. Gorgeous as he may be, he describes himself as the absolute worst boyfriend and husband ever! So I read almost all of his advice for entertainment purposes only. However, there were two points in this book that I agreed with him 100% -- his views on health club memberships over expensive wardrobe and accessories, and his warnings about dating thugs.*
I enjoyed every word of what Rev Run had to say because his views remind me of many happily married couples I personally know. I was happy both of them teamed up for this book for one major reason.
I watched VH1's "100 Sexiest" list and kept thinking, "I don't agree with most of the men on this list. And why don't some of these guys look like they bathe...ever?" Pinterest is my new favorite place to be (when I'm not on Twitter) so I decided to make my own list. Check it out, ladies. Tell me who you agree and disagree with.
Click here to see the gallery.
I'm an oxymoron. I'd be classified as a loner but there are moments when I will decide to be dead in the center of a club dancing with a cutie or chatting it up on social networking sites or going on vacation and talking to random people. But as quickly as I socialize, I'll shut down without warning. I like social networking. It's a fun place to meet people and have public discussions about your favorite subjects. In elementary school, I had 50 penpals from all over the world (Ghana, London, L.A., Toledo, etc.) so I've always been an enthusiast about meeting new people and learning about new cultures. However, I am the type of person who would go on a vacation alone and enjoy "me" time. Did it. Went to Maui on my 30th birthday for 11/11/11. ** One of the top five best moments of my entire life! Met fascinating people that I don't think I'd have stopped to talk to if I was with someone else. But in the back of my mind when I talk to strangers or when I wrote penpal letters (that died out by high school) or tweet or leave Facebook statuses, I never forget one thing: "I don't know you."
If you can't walk into my home right now, open my refrigerator and/or ask me about my parents on a first-name basis, you don't really know me.
There is this strange belief on social networking sites and in discussion forums that we really "know" people we talk to online. Makes as much sense to me as someone saying, "I know how to cook" when they really only know how to operate a microwave. This past week I've run into entirely too many people airing personal information on public sites. You don't have 3,000 real friends on Facebook so why are you telling them about how you're unemployed, a bill collector called and snatched up the last of your pay? Why air out to your hundreds of FBFs that your boyfriend invited his ex to a party and you've been dealing with him for __ years? I got tired of a Twitter user who would blow up my reply line when I didn't respond to her queries fast enough, retweeted me so much that my timeline looked like hers and I finally blocked her. She followed me four more times, sent a message through my website and then sent a public tweet upset that she couldn't follow me. I was really annoyed by the last stunt because now it brings unnecessary attention to me via her followers since I was tagged in the tweet, but I still won't say the username. Never met her. Never seen her in person. But people feel comfortable enough to make you feel obligated to talk to them because you "know" them online. The problem is you really don't. And I'm a big fan of the block feature. If I don't like what you're talking about in person, I'll erase you from my social circle so why would I humor the craziness from some random person online? GTFOH.
1. "14 Male Celebrities Who Look Eerily Similar": Sometimes the comments people make are better than the actual post. One commenter on this photo gallery said, "I'm assuming whoever wrote this may be clinically blind" and the popcorn I was eating fell out of my hand. (For the life of me I can't figure out why the creator thinks Chris Rock and Michael Vick look alike.)
2. "Off their Rockers" Gangnam Style: I have no desire to do this dance and don't understand the appeal (didn't understand the appeal of the Macarena either), but watching Betty White do it had me in tears. I rewound that part like five times.
I completed a post about this for 2011 so I'll keep it going for this year, too. I started on Saturday night, Dec. 14, and finished at 3:51 a.m. on December 30.
ACTORS (ALSO HANDSOME MEN ~ "EYE CANDY" SOUNDS SEXIST)
1. Idris Elba
2. Ian Somerhalder
3. Michael Ealy
4. Denzel Washington
5. Ryan Gosling
6. Yasiin Bey (aka Mos Def, equally excellent rapper and actor)
7. Hugh Laurie
8. Omar Epps
9. Rick Gonzalez
10. Richard Gere (I love those squinty eyes)
11. Brad Pitt (without the beard and the bizarre Chanel No. 5 commercial)
12. Robert Downey Jr. (I love everything he's in)
13. Don Cheadle
14. Lance Gross
15. Terrence Howard
16. Robert Pattinson
17. Columbus Short
18. Laurence Fishburne (Handsome guy in "Higher Learning" and "School Daze")
19. Mekhi Phifer
20. Taye Diggs
21. Michael B. Jordan (the actor, not the athlete)
1. Phylicia Rashad
2. Nia Long (I was so happy when she tweeted to me about my lucky day)
3. Sanaa Lathan
4. Erika Alexander
5. Meagan Good
6. Gabrielle Union
7. Taraji Henson
8. Dana Owens (aka Queen Latifah)
9. Regina King
10. Jasmine Guy
11. Zoe Saldana
1. "Thursday Night Book Club" (based on original work "A Friend in Need" by Cassius Marcellus Coolidge [Literary Arts Society])
1. Karen Siplin
2. Langston Hughes
1. Blistex Lip Medex (the only chapstick I use)
2. Bonne Bell lipLITES clear gloss
3. Cover Girl Professional natural lash mascara
4. Fashion Fair "Dark Brown" lip liner
5. Iman "Brass" lipstick
6. Posner Luxe Lids Eyeshadow Chocolate Collection 45001
BOOKS (OUTSIDE OF MINE)
1. "Wolves: Capturing the Natural Spirit of these Incredible Animals" by Shaun Ellis and Monty Sloan
2. "Hot Cripple" by Hogan Gorman
3. "I Got This" by Jennifer Hudson
4. "I Suck at Girls" by Justin Halpern
5. "Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness?: What It Means to Be Black Now" by Toure
6. "The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey" by Walter Mosley
1. Loving Hut restaurant
2. The New 400 Theater
1. Kevin Hart
2. Chris Rock
3. Bernie Mac (R.I.P.)
4. Jamie Foxx
5. Whitney Cummings
6. Betty White ("Off Their Rockers" was gold because of her; talk show interviews are always funny, too)
1. Jennifer Lopez purple dress (on homepage slideshow)
2. Daisy Fuentes green and blue dress (on homepage slideshow)
3. Camel 4" boots
4. Black sweater dress (My mother's old dress that I'm rocking the hell out of at the age she used to wear it)
1. Runaway Potato at Loving Hut
2. Spicy BBQ at Loving Hut
3. Lemon Tofu at Loving Hut
4. California Rolls at Chi Tung
5. Thai Fried Rice with tofu at Chi Tung
6. Crab Rangoon at Chi Tung
7. Filet o' Fish at McDonald's (Yes, I realize this makes me a pescatarian)
8. Market Pantry russet boiled potatos
9. Archer Farms salt and vinegar chips
10. Archer Farms blue corn with flaxseed chips
11. Macaroni & Cheese (Mom's at Thanksgiving)
12. Dressing (Mom's at Thanksgiving)
13. Collard Greens (vegan version)
14. Sweet potato baked potatoes
15. Sweet potatoes (Mom's at Thanksgiving)
16. Market Pantry baked potatoes with margarine and imitation bacon bits
17. The reaction at work to my vegetarian chili (Cooking isn't my favorite thing to do but I totally enjoy it when people like what I make)
18. Pittman & Davis lemon squares
19. Vegetarian lasagna (I only eat lasagna at Christmas; it's a tradition)
20. Chocolate mint tea with soy milk and green or brown tea from Argo Tea
21. Garbanzo/chick pea salad from Argo Tea
22. Fresh croissants from Argo Tea
23. Quaker Snack Mix (Baked Cheddar Flavor)
24. Vegetarian platter from Boston Market (mashed potatoes, cornbread, vegetable stuffing, green beans sweet potato casserole)
25. Vegetarian bacon strips (MorningStar Farms)
26. Vegetarian Chik Patties Original (MorningStar Farms)
27. Vegetarian Original Sausage Patties (MorningStar Farms)
28. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundae (Weight Watchers Smart Ones)
1. Fergie's Outspoken
2. Victoria's Secret Heavenly
3. Glade's Clean Linen candle
4. Glade's Cool Serenity candle
5. Glade's Cashmere Woods candle
6. Glade's Moonlit Walk candle
1. Hot 'N Gold Ionic Soft Jumbo Bonnet Dryer
2. Vitale relaxer
3. Vitale olive oil hair mayonnaise
4. Shea Moisture's Deep Treatment Masque
5. Sofn'free Milk, Protein & Olive Oil Strengthening Creme
1. Weight Watchers program (I lost 31 lbs. I love the Points Plus program. I'm not a member anymore, but once I mastered the nutrition and fitness guidelines I was set!)
2. Flirty Girl Fitness complimentary week of fitness classes
3. The exercise routine on "The Family Hustle" with T.I. in the health club
4. The exercise routine with Yolanda on "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"
5. The exercise routine with Shaun T on "Steve Harvey" (Eventually I'll buy "Insanity.")
6. "Diet and Exercise Diary" Hinkler journal from Barnes & Noble clearance rack
7. Shaun T's "Hip-Hop Abs" tapes (I still enjoy exercising with all of them)
8. "The Trainer's Edge: Killer Abs and Back" with Michael Olajide
9. GAIAM "Fit Body Yoga" featuring Gwen Lawrence ("Core Definition" is still the hardest one to do)
10. Weight Watchers Point Plus calculator
11. SuperTracker Food Tracker from USDA (I use it almost daily)
1. President Barack Obama
2. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
3. Harriet Tubman
4. Malcolm X
5. Frederick Douglass
6. Rosa Parks
7. Nat Turner
1. My new brown couch
2. Glade electric warmer plug-ins
3. Mavea water filter
LIQUOR (OTHER DRINKS)
1. Chocolate martini at Olive Garden
2. Godiva chocolate martini at Chi Tung
3. Whiskey sour (My favorite go-to drink since college)
4. Captain Morgan's red wine
5. Arnold Palmer Half & Half iced tea
6. Lipton ice tea
7. Bigelow green tea
8. McDonald's iced coffee (medium, no liquid sugar)
MEMORIES (HAPPY ONES ONLY)
1. My mom and I going to the NBC studio to see "Steve Harvey Show" live
2. Flirty Girl Fitness spa manicure and waxing for my birthday
3. Drinking Captain Morgan's red wine with my grandfather in his backyard (the dogs next door hate me but they behaved as long as he was around)
4. Giving up my Loving Hut boycott and going two times over my birthday vacation (still can't believe I talked my meat-loving co-worker Darcel and cousin Hareder into going)
5. Olive Garden trips with Mom (always messed up my fitness journal record but any dinner date with my mother is a good time)
6. Manicure nights at Aunt Marguerite's apartment (R.I.P. September was hard)
7. Working late night shifts after moving to the fourth floor and a management change (I love the night shift and would never work a day shift in my life if I could help it. I was very cool with the management change and like my new floor better, too.)
8. Visiting the Black Ensemble Theatre for the first time to see "The Marvin Gaye Story: Don't Talk About My Father Because God Is My Friend" for my mother's birthday
9. Showing up to work to see a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my co-worker Jenniffer after my great great aunt passed; I was not expecting that at all.
10. Going to my brother's Halloween birthday party; I had a great time, saw a bunch of his in-laws that I hadn't seen in years and enjoyed terrorizing one of my cousins, too.
11. Cutting up all of my store and regular credit cards (The Frontline episode about how much credit card companies scam you really woke me up. I have been far more disciplined with my spending and am actually paying off cards instead of increasing balances.)
12. Being so loyal to walking Faith anytime I visit my parents' house that I went out with two-inch heels on while it was storming, grabbed my umbrella and a thick coat, and still walked that dog (who stopped at every single tree and pole) on Thanksgiving night
13. Getting the birthday card in the mail from my brother with us as kids that said, "I got your back" on the inside. I thought that was pretty cool and I wasn't expecting a card at all because he's not usually a card sender. He sent two. (In my defense, I swear it looked like a stuff monkey!)
14. My boss reenacting what it's like to walk a family member's dogs (She's funny regardless but she's even funnier when she tells a story.)
15. Reading "Keeping the Promise"; I miss Mr. Ellison. I've worked with a lot of PR reps but he was the most efficient, polite and fascinating to talk to about his own writing history. R.I.P. I'd read everything he ever wrote.
16. Making the November page in my mother's 2013 photo calendar. I made one side super silly photos of us and the other pretty photos, but the silly photos are the best ones (IMO). My favorites: Her puckering her lips out and me hiding in a box.
17. Surprise visit from my brother-from-another-mother Shuntal at Christmas. I haven't seen him in person in at least eight or nine years. It was very good to see him although he came for other circumstances.
18. Hanging out with my cousin Yolanda on Christmas Eve. I never see her on Christmas, only Thanksgiving, and I really had a good time catching up with her.
19. Catching up with my old girl scout leader Lela (won't include last name) is always fun. I was a girl scout from the age of 9-14 but I have made a point of staying in contact with her. She's hilarious and always a pleasure to be around.
20. My grandfather accusing me of biting my dog on a calendar photo. I told him Faith nuzzled up to my face. His response? "Well, somebody's got to initiate the kiss."
21. Surprising Aunt Marguerite with a visit from my grandfather for her second 100th birthday party (Doesn't a centenarian deserve two parties? I think so!) Click here to see the video of some friends and family singing to her.
22. Setting up my cousin Hareder's website for a pageant (I learned a lot more about her and enjoyed reading her responses to FAQs. It was educational and far more enjoyable to create than I expected.)
23. The look of shock when I saw the guy who came to pick up my old couch from a Craigslist posting. Man, he was cute. I never told him that, but I was equally impressed seeing him in a suit the second time around when he came to get the throw pillows that I didn't need.
24. The look of appreciation from the mother and daughter who picked up the Taylor Lautner umbrella and blanket I gave away on Craigslist.
25. Seeing Al Green live at Ravinia (I'd never been to that concert before; it was cool even on the lawn)
26. Christmas card from Georgia B. every year (I'll always enjoy hearing from the family, and it makes me think of grandmother every time)
27. Getting a call from Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois as the first Go Red Fan of the Week winner for the "It's Heart Awareness Month" competition; It was for my photo with Faith (with me wearing a red sweater) and I won a gift card.
1. "Think Like a Man"
3. "Breaking Dawn (Part 2)"
4. "The Notebook"
5. "Taken from Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story"
6. "Crazy, Stupid, Love"
7. "Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned"
8. "Justin Timberlake: Futuresex/Loveshow"
9. "Friends With Benefits"
10. "Higher Learning" (my favorite movie for two decades)
11. "Love Jones" (timeless movie)
12. "Something New" (Made me a Sanaa Lathan fan for the first time)
13. "Iron Man"
14. "Iron Man 2"
17. "Flight" (Ecstatic to see John Goodman in a recent film)
MUSIC (singles and artists)
1. Afroflow "Call Us By Name"
2. Afroflow "Ethiopia (Everything Will Be All Right)"
3. Afroflow "It Makes You Feel Good"
4. Afroflow "My Element"
5. Afroflow "Warrior's Rhythm"
6. Akon "I Wanna Love You"
7. Akon "Mama Africa"
8. Akon feat. T-Pain "I Can't Wait"
9. Akon "Rain"
10. Al Green and Queen Latifah "Simply Beautiful"
11. Andre 3000's verse on T.I.'s "Sorry"
12. Beyonce "4" album
13. Bob Marley "Waiting in Vain"
14. Bob Marley "One Love"
15. Bob Marley "Three Little Birds"
16. Bob Marley "Redemption Song"
17. Bob Marley "Satisfy My Soul"
18. Bob Marley "Turn the Lights Down Low"
19. Bob Marley "Jammin'"
20. Brad Paisley "Alcohol"
21. Brad Paisley "Ticks"
22. Brad Paisley "Waitin' On a Woman"
23. Brad Paisley "Oh Yeah, You're Gone"
24. Brad Paisley "The Pants"
25. Brad Paisley "I'm Still a Guy"
26. Brandy "Two Eleven" album
27. Brandy "Afrodisiac" album
28. Brandy and Monica "It All Belongs to Me"
29. Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song"
30. Chris Brown "Fortune" album
31. Chris Brown "Marvin's Room" on "Boy in Detention"
32. Damian Marley "Move"
33. Damian Marley "Mr. Marley"
34. David Banner "Malcolm X (A Song to Me)"
35. David Banner "Swag Remix" from "Sex, Drugs & Video Games"
36. David Essex "Rock On"
37. Drake "Comeback Season"
38. Drake "Take Care" (the single)
39. Elle Varner's "Perfectly Imperfect" album
40. Finatticz "Don't Drop That Thun Thun"
41. Fugees "Killing Me Softly"
42. Frank Ocean "Thinking About You"
43. Game feat. Meek Mills "Scared Now" (Sometimes it's hard to shake a ratchet song.)
44. Herbie Hancock "Chameleon"
45. Herbie Hancock "St. Louis Blues"
46. Herbie Hancock "Watermelon Man"
47. Ice Cube's verse on "You Gotta Lotta That"
48. Ice Cube "Hood Mentality"
49. J. Cole "Can't Get Enough"
50. J. Cole and Drake "In the Morning"
51. Jay-Z "Dig a Hole"
52. John Legend "Green Light"
53. John Legend feat. Pusha T on "Tonight"
54. Jerrod Niemann "What Do You Want"
55. Justin Bieber feature on "Ladies Love Me" from Chris Brown's "Boy in Detention"
56. Luther Vandross "I'm Only Human"
57. Maino "That Could Be Us"
58. Marcus Canty "Won't Make a Fool Out of You"
59. Marvin Gaye -- anything by him
60. Mary J. Blige "Someone to Love Me"
61. Mary J. Blige "Just Fine"
62. Michael Jackson "Butterflies"
63. Michael Jackson "Stranger in Moscow"
64. Miguel "Adorn"
65. Nas "Life Is Good" (album)
66. RaVaughn "Same ol BS"
67. Rihanna "Unapologetic"
68. Sade "Love Is Stronger than Pride"
69. T-Pain "Five o' Clock"
70. T.I. feat. Cee lo "Hello"
71. T.I. "Wonderful Life"
72. T.I. "Hallelujah"
73. Timbaland feat. Drake "Say Something"
74. The Game "Scared Now" (Every blue moon I grow attached to a ratchet song.)
75. Usher "Looking 4 Myself" (album)
76. Yasiin Bey (formerly known as Mos) -- anything by him
77. Young Jeezy "I Do"
1. "Adam Lanza, and others who committed mass shootings, were white males"
2. President Obama speaking up about gun control
3. Clarence Page's Page from the Tribune
4. "The Rachel Maddow Show"
5. "The Last Word" with Lawrence O'Donnell
6. Anderson Cooper and his "Ridiculist"
7. BET's "Don't Sleep" with T.J. Holmes
1. "Harlem Sweeties" by Langston Hughes
1. Election night 2012 in the Tribune's newsroom
2. Pres. Obama crying while thanking his campaign team in Chicago
3. Chicago Tribune's Election Center updates on Election night
4. Chicago Tribune's Local Election updates on Election night
5. Bill Clinton's "brass" speech during Obama's campaign (I was too young to realize how fascinating and intelligent a speaker he was when he was president; I get it now)
1. "Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance." -Samuel Johnson
2. "Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is not." -Henry Van Dyke
3. "A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." -Author Unknown
4. "Your eyes tell more than your mouth can maneuver." -Shamontiel (I made it up in college)
5. "Home is where the beach is." -Author Unknown
6. "Keep smiling. It makes everyone wonder what you have been up to." (Sign I took from my grandmother's home when she passed away)
1. Power 105's The Breakfast Club (interviews ONLY, DJ Envy is the only cool one)
2. Big Boy's Neighborhood
3. Herb Kent on V103
4. Boolu Master mixes
1. Up & Up cocoa butter lotion (deep conditioning)
2. Caress' Endless Kiss (Creamy Vanilla & Sandalwood) soap
3. Caress' Evenly Gorgeous soap
4. Caress' Sheer Twilight soap
5. Nadinola's cocoa butter cream
6. Tropic Sun Aloe Vera Gel
7. Suave Cocoa Butter with Shea lotion
1. Shopkick app (The Smartphone coupons really do work; just scan at checkout)
2. T-Mobile® myTouch® Q - Black
3. Instagram phone app
1. "The Vampire Diaries" (only after Damon allegedly sired Elena and every scene with Klaus and Rebekah)
3. "Love You Mean It"
4. "Joan & Melissa" (I cry laughing at the medical marijuana episode when they jumped in fully clothed.)
5. Luther on "Key & Peele"
6. Tyler Perry's "For Better or Worse"
8. "Sleeper Cell"
9. "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" (The other season extras are entertaining)
10. "Common Law"
13. "Degrassi: The Next Generation" (favorite episode is Jimmy [Drake] on the roof with Hazel when he gave her the necklace)
14. "Friends" (The turkey "I love you" episode with Monica)
15. "Ally McBeal"
16. "The New Adventures of Old Christine"
18. "Totally Biased with W. Kamau Bell" (I was ecstatic to see Yasiin Bey on the episode about Superstorm Sandy)
19. Jamie Foxx on "Ellen" with the horse/black woman impersonation and talking about black women holding back while dancing
20. "The Steve Harvey Show" (The microphone boy is my favorite episode!)
21. Gloria for calling out Bambi on a wolf ticket on "Basketball Wives LA" and for staying on her work hustle and out of the cattiness that is that show (I can't tolerate the Miami version at all even though Jennifer is cool)
22. "House" (I laugh every time House dances with that beatbox and his cane)
23. "Roseanne" (I tear up every time Darlene does that poem for her class)
24. "The Golden Girls" (Fav episode: Dorothy and the Secret Service agent with the jewelry thiefs)
25. "The Cosby Show" (I own all eight seasons)
26. "A Different World" (When will they release the other seasons?)
1. Men who wear their pants at a regular size (no extra sagging baggy jeans and absolutely no sagging skinny jeans)
2. Men who keep their haircut neat (Even if you're rocking dreadlocks, keep them neat)
3. Men who keep their facial hair neat (Still a big fan of short goatees)
4. Tall men (I wish I could shake this one because it's so superficial, but I've always been a magnet for tall guys. I don't know what's up with 5'11" to 6"5 men but that's who I end up dating at least 95% of the time.)
5. Men with smooth, full lips (I still laugh out loud remembering the time my godmother Sheila yelled out, "I can't take it! Give him some chapstick!" at the screen when Wood Harris was on "Not Easily Broken.")
6. Men who like to smell nice (body oil, cologne, whatever, just a nice fragrance)
7. Smooth skin (I don't have a complexion preference. I've dated guys who were Bizzy Bone's complexion and then went straight to Morris Chestnut's complexion, but a smooth shave is sexy.)
8. Men who enjoy smiling and have nice teeth (ex. Morris Chestnut, Idris Elba, Taye Diggs)
1. Men with full-time steady employment (I have no interest in grown-up dependents. I have been supporting me for a decade, but can you support yourself?)
2. Men who care about their health (If you think HIV/AIDS isn't real, have never been tested and randomly have unsafe sex, please keep your suicidal body away from me. When a guy doesn't care about his own health, there's 100% chance he couldn't care less about yours, ladies.)
3. Men who know there's a time and place (and a level) for PDA (If you're grabbing a woman's butt in public, stick to chickenheads.)
4. Men with positive role models in their lives (You can tell a lot about a man by how his father treats his mother [or stepmother] and how often his father was in his life. And just because a woman gave birth to you doesn't make her a great human being. Watch how he treats his mother and how she treats other men. You'll learn how he feels women should treat men from that, too.)
5. Men with their names on their leases (I'm too grown to deal with somebody's roommate and I haven't dated a guy who lives with his Mom since I was 20.)
6. Men who like to be active/eat healthy (I've never dated a vegetarian [although I am one] but because I'm so adamant about regular exercise and eating healthy, it's cool to meet guys with equal mindsets. Guys I've dated have always been either athletic or into health.)
7. Men who own their own cars (Men with no cars think everyone is their taxicab, love to tell you where to go and never pay for parking. I tried being open-minded about this with two guys who had suspended licenses. It got old very quickly. It still boggles my mind at the guys I meet with no cars who are offended by public transportation. Buy a CTA pass and stop freeloading on everybody else's gas.)
8. Men who understand and follow the motto that the words "woman" or "lady" are not synonymous with "bitch" or "ho." They're two different groups of people. Listen to Jay-Z's song "Bitches versus Women." I agree with it.
9. Men who spend wisely (If you want to splurge, that's your business but please do something else with your money besides budget for strippers, weed, jewelry and video games. Savings accounts, 401(k) and CDs help you create a future.)
10. Men who like to read for fun (Newspapers [besides the sports section], books, magazines [something other than just entertainment articles])
11. Men who respect individuality (I applaud the Drakes of the world who will look at an industry and still be themselves instead of the carbon copy of what they think other people want them to be. Just be you. Somebody will appreciate it sooner or later.)
12. Men who realize a date means going to a place where neither of us are looking at our own furniture, our own food or our own porch. You're a grown up. Leave the couch.
13. Men with manners ("Please," "thank you," "excuse me" and "after you" never hurt anyone.)
14. Men who believe in monogamy (I've never caught any guy I was dating cheating, but I've heard too many horror stories. If you plan on having sex with multiple women, save her the waste of time and energy. Date; don't be in a relationship. And don't even bother to ask me to date you if you have a girlfriend or wife. It'll never happen.)
15. Men who do not use the word "nigger" or "nigga" like it's a compliment. (It will never be and both men and women sound absolutely disrespectful every time they say it. The meaning has not changed. Expand your vocabulary. And I say this from the perspective of someone who used to argue about how it was okay to use it. NMU changed that.)
16. Men who can fix things, especially mechanics or appliance repair people (I swear blue collar jobs like this are so underrated. I totally respect white collar jobs, but men who can fix things are great people.)
17. Men who are laid-back (I'm not the most nonchalant person in the world so I tend to shy away from other people who are glued to drama. The best relationships I've been in were with guys who preferred peace over looking for beef, and we parted on good terms and occasionally stayed in touch over the years.)
18. Men who know who the hip-hop pioneers are and actually respect them
19. Men who can beatbox (Maybe it's because I'm a fan of old school but my eyes bug out every time I hear a guy start beatboxing.)
20. Men who like to dance (Whether you're a natural like Chris Brown, groove like 2 Chainz or just two-stepping like Jay-Z, as long as you can keep the rhythm, we're good to go. I like to see a guy let down his guard and just snap on the dance floor though.)
21. Men who aren't the jealous type (Protective does not mean paranoid, and "platonic friendship" actually does happen. Don't let negativity overpower you.)
22. Men who have a sense of humor (If you are funny, you will always be a step above any other guy I'm looking at. And if you make faces just to make me laugh, I will adore you even more.)
3. Ada's Student Etsy store (also on my Mom's website)
6. iHeart Comedy Radio
8. AOL Listening Party
9. AOL Online Radio
10. Project Playlist
13. Chicago Tribune's Health page (Yes, I update it therefore I am 100% biased)
14. Chicago Tribune's Travel page (Yes, I update it therefore I am 100% biased)
15. McDonald's Full Menu Food Tracker (Easier to eat healthy and know what you eat)
16. The Good Men Project
YOUTUBE (OTHER) VIDEOS
1. Drake's interview with Katie Couric
2. DMX sings "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"
3. President Obama sheds a tear after being reelected
4. Brandy's "Put It Down" video with Chris Brown
5. Obama's Kiss Cam video
6. "The Unexpected" sorority step routine on "Awkward Black Girl" (start at 2:28)
7. "Think Like a Man" cast talks about battle with the sexes
8. "Think Like a Man" cast with Regina Hall acting a fool
9. Tijuana Jackson interviews "Think Like a Man" cast
10. Jamie Foxx on Saturday Night Live as a Ding Dong
I'm not sure what's up lately, but in the past couple of months I have been beaten over the head with this light-skinned versus dark-skinned debate on Twitter, on dates, on television and even with loved ones. While watching CNN's "Who's Black in America" special tonight, I watched my timeline and observed some of the most bitter tweets about how dark-skinned and light-skinned people are treated, who looks and acts better, and the one-drop rule. Finally I got tired of reading them and tweeted, "The light-skinned vs. dark-skinned stereotypes might've been fed to US but I swear we keep on EATING it. Put the fork down. #BlackinAmerica." That tweet was retweeted 7 times and favorited one time. I was honestly surprised anybody retweeted it at all with the amount of complaining I was reading about this special. But this argument about complexion needs to end, whether it's in pop culture, beauty magazines, the job industry or in relationships.
While some of us are repeatedly ranting about Beyonce being viewed as the most beautiful woman in the world (blonde weave, light complexion), she's working on something that really matters with an equally beautiful brown-skinned woman, FLOTUS Michelle Obama, like the Let's Move campaign! I'm willing to bet neither one of them is sitting around harping on the color, texture or length of each other's hair.
My grandfather donates to a Native American tribe he met while traveling with my grandmother back in the day. They send him gifts all the time, and he gave me a dream catcher. I've been wanting one of these things for over a decade. A girl I knew at NMU used to have one on her dorm bed, and while I'm not sure they work, my dreams are so vivid, I think it'd be cool to own just to see if there's a difference. That and I'm fascinated by Native American folklore. I learned a lot about the culture while I was at NMU and went to Canada to visit a Native American Girl Scout trip in my high school days. I've been to pow wows, and I love to read the folklore books. I won't even go into my fascination with wolves, and no, it's not just because I'm Team Jacob from "Twilight." I own a photography book full of wolves and have read all about them.
The description for a dream weaver says, "Native Americans of the Great Plains believe the air is filled with both good and bad dreams. According to the legend, the good dreams pass through the center hole to the sleeping person. The bad dreams are trapped in the web, where they perish in the light of dawn. Historically, dreamcatchers were hung in the tipi or lodge and on a baby's cradle board."
I should've written this blog when I turned 30 instead of 31, but last year at this time I was sleeping in LAX airport and missed my flight to Maui. Then I spent five days in Hawaii so you already know I was preoccupied. This year, I was supposed to be in St. Louis sometime tonight but since those plans fell through, I'm in Chicago hanging out for my 31st birthday (on Sunday, Veteran's Day) so I have a bit of time on my hands. I started reflecting on my 20s and how they made me into the woman I am today. Here are the top five moments in my 20s that prepared me for my 30s.
I love funny people, but sometimes the funniest moments are from people who you wouldn't expect to do certain things or say them aloud. Pretty much all of my "smile" moments were from those instances.
1. The Booty Grabber: I was talking with a co-worker about how much I can't stand it when guys grab women's butts in public. I've dated three different guys who were into that sort of thing, and I'm not really big on PDA. I can't stand holding hands, linking arms or snuggling up and hugging all in public. It seems like the couple is trying to prove a point to me and holding hands makes me feel like I'm on a school field trip. I'm just waiting for a teacher to start taking attendance. Ironically enough though I have no problem with public kissing and do it plenty of times. I don't know. I'm weird that way. But anyway, my co-worker and I were talking about PDA and ass grabbing and she said she hates it, too. She said the only time she does it is with her son where she'll grab his bottom and go "honk honk." And she literally demonstrated this in the air. I almost fell over a fountain we were sitting on because I was laughing so hard. I just wouldn't have expected the demonstration and I couldn't even finish the rest of the story I was telling because I kept laughing. I won't say her name, but I will say as professional as she is to viewers she is super funny "behind the scenes."
2. On life support: Now someone talking about being on life support is never funny but leave it to my grandfather to find a morbid joke. I was talking to him about a family member on a feeding tube and he started ranting about how he doesn't want to be on any of that. He complained about how horrible nursing homes are and how he never wants to be hooked up to any tubes and wires. He is determined that he's going to go out like a Native American tribe does (don't know how to spell the name he always says) and just go to a tent and take care of himself until he dies outside. Yes, this is morbid but he's said it so much that it has lost its punch. But he had specific instructions about feeding tubes.
Him: "Don't put me on any life support or feeding tube! If I get to that point, you bring me a double cheeseburger and let it kill me while I'm eating it."
Me: But Grandad, you don't eat double cheeseburgers at all now.
Him: I know! That's why I'll want one. No, make it a big bowl of chitterlings. That'll take me quicker. And if neither one of those work, you get me a big, greasy possum sandwich. I hate possum sandwiches so much I'll definitely be gone soon.
Been a minute. Plenty to grumble about but the point of this blog is to remind myself about things I've smiled about. I missed last week so here's 10 instead of five.
1. Ma Po Tofu at Lao Sze Chuan: The spices on the food still kill my stomach, but I love it. I haven't been to Chinatown in a couple of years (although I've eaten a lot of Asian food at other locations) so it was cool celebrating someone's birthday there yesterday afternoon. The food and service were great for both of us.
2. Jennifer Lopez purple dress: Retail therapy is something else, and I got a beautiful dress from Kohl's for a great sale price today. I know retail therapy can hurt your wallet, but new clothes do something for women who get into style. I can't wait to wear this dress any place I can think of. I like it almost as much as my Daisy Fuentes blue and green dress. Almost.
3. Kohl's Cash: Yeah, NY & CO has City Cash, but it takes so long to use it that I usually forget about it. For every $50, you get $10 from Kohl's and you don't have to buy something else to use it. You spend it like you would a regular gift card or cash. I got two today from my retail therapy session and finally got a new watch after I'd torn mine all up at Great America (scratches from falling during Fright Night), dying battery and fading silver. I loved the watch, but it was time to get something new.
4. Silver and blue watch: I love my new watch. It goes with my blue jeans and since I wear so much gray, it looks nice with that, too. I don't want my whole list to be materialistic, but I'm feeling the shopping trip I just went on.