When I heard the news that Michael “King of Pop” Jackson had cardiac arrest, I was calm. In denial, but calm. I checked Associated Press and other notable news sources in my office to confirm the information and updated the site accordingly, but I was still in denial about it. I went to CNN’s “Black in America 2” screening the same day, where the host confirmed what TMZ had said earlier that day—Michael Jackson was dead. I sat in my seat completely frozen. .
Earlier today, I read a tweet from CNN reporter Don Lemon about how the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson, never provided evidence of having Vidalago, and I tweeted him back saying, “I don't believe it was M. Jackson's job 2 offer the media any proof of his skin condition. That's a bonus, not a requirement.” And with that tweet, I wondered where is the fine line between getting research for an article and just being overzealous. Paparazzi are no doubt overbearing, but journalists don’t have to be. So why is it some of us feel like we are entitled to have all of this personal information about celebrities when it’s really not our business or the public’s business?
Last Wednesday, I froze when I overhead someone tell our Chicago Defender’s News Editor that Michael Jackson was in the hospital for cardiac arrest. I hoped for the best, but when I read on TMZ’s site that Michael Jackson had died on Thursday, June 25, 2009, I went into complete denial. Of course I did what any Web Editor would do; I started checking respectable news sites to see if they agreed. CNN continuously said that he was in the hospital, but yet they kept using his name in past tense. When I left the newsroom, the verdict was still out. But after work, I went to CNN’s live screening of “Black in America 2” at the DuSable Museum and the host announced to the crowd that Michael Jackson had indeed passed away. That was a hard pill to swallow. But I’m sure it was harder for Michael Jackson’s family to hear about through rumors from a website or news cameras before the doctor could potentially even tell them.
Since then, I’ve updated the Chicago Defender website regularly about news on just what happened to cause cardiac arrest, Michael Jackson’s will, who is fighting over custody of Michael Jackson’s children and where the public viewing will be for Michael Jackson. People are reading this stuff nonstop, and of course, as a fan, I want to know too. But when does it stop? Was it selfish to demand a public viewing when Michael Jackson’s family hadn’t even had a week to grieve? Is it fair to start forums on why Katherine Jackson or Diana Ross should or should not be allowed to care for Michael Jackson’s children?
His fans want to know what’s going on with Michael Jackson, but as Janet Jackson said at the BET Awards, “To you, Michael Jackson is an icon. To us, Michael is family.” And regardless of him being famous or not, there’s still a family who mourns him. If the media does not get every single detail of Jackson’s life, it’ll be okay. If the media does not see medical documentation of whether he had a skin disease or not, it’ll be okay. But what we don’t need is the media going off on a tangent if they don’t get the information they want about Michael Jackson—it was bossy when he was alive and now it’s just flat out tasteless when he’s dead.
I honestly think that funerals should be private for just family and friends, the kind that can open your refrigerator door without you looking at them funny. Everybody else should be happy to even hear the news about a time and date, or see an interview afterwards. Because as close as you thought you were to Michael Jackson, his family and friends really were. The Neverland animals are more entitled to go to Jackson’s funeral than any fan is because they had the unconditional love that some of his finicky fans did not.
I don’t know what it is about free concerts, but they are always the best to watch. And they’re even better at the Taste of Chicago when you can feel the energy of the crowd. So far, I’ve seen Lyfe Jennings, Fantasia, Jennifer Hudson, Stevie Wonder, Anthony Hamilton, Jason Weaver, and India Arie at the Taste. Nobody had topped Lyfe Jennings (Anthony Hamilton came close though) so I had to go see him again. And usually I work 12 to 15 hour days on Wednesdays, but when I found out that one of my favorite R&B artists (Ne-Yo) was going to be at the Taste, that had to change. I hate mornings, but I woke up at 5 am and headed to the newsroom. I was on a mission and got everything I needed done to the site by 2 pm and bounced!
It was raining, I have a fresh perm and broke as a joke so barely enough money to get on the train, but I collected what I needed and headed out. Ne-Yo onstage is as good as I thought he’d be. He started off singing my second favorite song from him: “Stay.” I love the energy of that first verse! It was bittersweet that Michael Jackson just passed, but he did a tribute to him that made me agree with Jamie Foxx on the BET Awards. He doesn’t look remotely like MJ, but he can sing his songs extremely well. If there was ever a Michael Jackson tribute CD to come out, judging from the BET Awards, Ne-Yo is the only one who can hit the right notes. I’m curious how Chris Brown sings Michael Jackson’s slower songs, but he wasn’t at the BET awards so I don’t know. I saw a lot of people fail at trying to sing them, but Ne-Yo really did a good job.
I knew he’d written Mario’s song “Let Me Love You,” Beyonce’s “Irreplaceable” and Rihanna’s “Round of Applause,” but I had no idea he wrote Jennifer Hudson’s “Spotlight” and neither did the crowd because they were shocked when he sang that one with the rest of his creations. I really wanted him to sing Marques Houston’s “That Girl” because I have the feeling he can sing it better. I liked Marques’ version, but I really like Ne-Yo’s range a lot more.
When you can have grown fully heterosexual men swaying in the crowd and looking all googly-eyed at their girlfriends, you gotta love that. I haven’t seen that since Al Green was on the BET Awards (last?) year. It was a joy to interview him for the Chicago Defender, but an even bigger pleasure to see him live. And as modest as he was about dancing in the interview, he can move quite nicely. And the sermon at the end about “Miss Independent” was too cute. Although I like “She Got Her Own,” him performing “Miss Independent” love made me switch over.
Great job! I’d recommend anybody who hasn’t seen him go asap.
I’ve had a lot of memories in the Defender office, some good and some bad. I went to Grant Park during Election Day and heard Obama speak from my window. I learned about several politicians wilding out while sitting in my office. But the goosebumps that came on my arms when a couple Defender staff members said that Michael Jackson was in the hospital topped it all. Several staff members huddled around the television in the newsroom listening to every single update, some exclaiming about CNN talking about Michael Jackson "in past tense" and how "geniuses always die early." Others said they refused to believe TMZ until a more credible news service said MJ was dead. When I left, the verdict was still out, but I left many links and articles on CD's site updating the status. Afterwards, I went to the DuSable Museum to the pre-screening of CNN's "Black in America 2." Sitting in the media area with Kathy Chaney, the host for the night said CNN's Don Lemon had to fly back and couldn't be with us tonight because of the MJ tragedy. And then he announced that Michael Jackson really was dead.
And when I heard he was dead, I just sat there sad. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had writer’s block in my life, and I kept trying to write a Message from Montie blog about Michael Jackson, but there are just so many things I want to say that I really don’t know where to start.
So instead, I Michael Jackson’d the Chicago Defender site out to pay tribute to all of his memories. I started a tribute blog. I started a photo gallery and a slideshow on the homepage (on Friday, June 26) and it’ll come down next Friday (July 3). I went to Best Buy and bought two of his CDs: “The Jackson 5: The Millennium Collection” and “25: Thriller, The World’s Biggest Selling Album of All Time” with two CDs and a DVD included. I contacted Brandon Adams (who played Baby Mike in “Moonwalker”) to ask for pics of him with Michael to share his friendship with the pop icon. I asked all the Defender staff to leave a message on the tribute blog of their memories. I only listen to Michael Jackson music in my car and at home. I’ve tweeted about Michael Jackson. But I just don’t have the words to write a blog about my memories of him. Too many. Don’t know where to start.
Recently I was checking out Craigslist gigs for extra income since I stopped working with Demand Studios. I still write for Ehow.com occasionally but not under Demand Studios. Anyway, I found a tutoring gig for English and Writing, accepted, was told I was hired and told my schedule. But here's where the alarm went off. They immediately mailed me a lump sum of money for a student who is in the UK and is flying over. First of all, I find it rather odd that someone from another country (and continent) would need to come all the way over here to be tutored, especially from UK for "English." But sometimes people like to go to different places to pick up the lingo there, so I said, "All right fine." But the company never specified where this person would stay. By home school tutoring, I didn't plan on the student living with me. I tried to confirm that but got no response, and they do have my address.
But what really made my eyebrows raise was them telling me that they sent the wrong check to me, and the amount I was going to receive was thousands of dollars more. They wanted me to transfer the funds through Western Union to the travel agent for the mistake after "cashing the check immediately." Okay, everybody knows that the fees for wiring money through Western Union are far more expensive than canceling a check, so why not just cancel the check altogether, especially in thousands of dollars. Why risk that? For all they know, I could run off with the money after cashing it. The only people who do that are broke.
I can already tell the results of this. I cash the check. Send the remaining amount (subtracting my fee) through Western Union, the check bounces, and I'm stuck scrambling for funds. I tried to clarify with this company to send the money through an online secure site instead of snail mail with a check, but I got no response. I asked where the student was living again. No response. I pointed out the check canceling. No response. But the company surely did contact me again asking if I'd received the check and cashed it yet.
I told them I wasn't cashing a thing and instead I'd "Return to Sender." Something about this whole gig doesn't sound right. When you run into companies (or emails) like this, report it to the Internet Crime Complaint Center.
My great great aunt is 97. My grandfather is 86. My mother will be 51 this year, and my father will be 52. And I am 27. And these four people have no problem with telling you their age. I've completed interviews with big celebrities, lesser known celebs, and local celebs, and it always boggles my mind when one of them says they don't want to share their age because "in Hollywood, you don't tell your age. You always want to appear younger." I don't believe that's true. Hollywood glorifies Hugh Hefner for being his age and still being the stallion with the Playboy mansion. So you're guessing that the people who give me a hard time about age are women, right? Wrong! Out of at least 20 celebs I've interviewed, only three didn't want to give their age and they were both men. And Black men, at that.
Now call me crazy, but the statistics are still out there saying it's a challenge for a brotha to make it to 25 years old. So when I meet successful black men who have made it to celebrity status, who are doing something positive, and who are those handsome guys women oogle, I wonder why wouldn't they want to brag about how long they've been in the industry. Be proud you've made it this long. There is no rule book saying that you can't act or rap in your 30s or 40s. There's a reason that with maturity comes wisdom. Some of the better rappers out are older (ex. Rakim).
I think people should be proud of the years they've been able to enjoy life. Don't hesitate to tell your age. It's a beautiful thing to be able to experience however many years, months, and days you've had to meet, live, breathe, and experience more days.
I think it's imperative that black men disclose their age, especially as professionals because it gives hope to other young brothers who are just trying to make it and don't have resources to tell them what is a reasonable age to get it done. And when they see friends dropping like flies around them, you have no idea how many of them look at you and think, "Well, he made it and he's _________ years old!"
Chicago is beautiful. I love the summer months in Chicago, and I especially love living near the lakefront. It's a free way to exercise. I walk miles in the summer months just to go chill on the rocks at the lakefront with a good book and good music, and I'm in a great mood. Now mind you, just because I'm in a good mood doesn't mean I'm grinning and skipping down the street. I'm not quite sure why, and maybe I learned it from the brothas I grew up hanging out with, but I don't walk down the street smiling. It's not that I'm unhappy, but I usually just look calm (in my opinion) but mean (in some men's opinion). I also don't make eye contact unless I'm checking a guy out or if I see something really fashionable on people, I'll stop to compliment them on their attire. Other than that, I'm pretty quiet and minding my business.
As usual, some brothas stopped me walking down the street. Now I have my mp3 player blasting in my ear (that Mike-E Afroflow CD is killing it! If you don't have it, you love positive music, and you want to check out an artist who is not talking about the same boring topics (sex with a bunch of different women, his cars, his clothes, and his money), buy it today! I'm also falling in love all over again with Trey Songz music after interviewing him. He's a very pleasant interviewee, by the way. I remember jumping at the chance to see him perform at Lincoln University (Missouri) my alma mater and cheering him on before folks were up on him.
But I digress. Anyway, so three brothas stopped me (on different blocks) to yell out "You could smile" "Why don't you smile?" and "Put a smile on your face." And all I'm thinking is, "Somebody could've died in my family. I could've just been evicted. I could've found out I had some deadly disease" and you're asking me to smile. Please cut that out. A man never has to tell a woman to smile. When she wants to smile at you, she will, but you can't make her do it on command. It should be genuine. She should look at you and just want to brighten the room with her smile. Someone asking me to smile only makes me turn my lip up. It's vain as hell. Just because she walked by you, she's got to smile? *shaking my head* Instead of telling her to smile, just try something simple. "Hey, how are you doing?" "What are you listening to?" "How's the book so far?" (I was carrying one, as I always do whenever I go anywhere, even to the corner.) "Where's Lincoln University?" (I was wearing my LU jacket. I am a walking commercial for my alma mater, believe that!) Anything. Spark up a casual conversation. But PLEASE stop demanding for her to act like you are her man and she should be happy as shit to see you even though she doesn't know a thing about you.
But I will tell you how you know she's interested and will smile at you. Smile at HER. Just try it. Smiling is contagious. If you smile at her (and be quiet!) and she catches your eye, she may smile back. And if she smiles back and keeps eye contact, MOVE IN! RED ALERT! YOU HAVE A WINNER! I'm telling you, it works. I have yet to NOT smile at a guy I'm interested in. Never. Ever. If he smiles and I'm digging his style, his look, or his calm way of getting my attention, I'm going to throw the whites back at him. But you cannot...NOT...make a woman smile by requesting it like it's a song on the radio (unless you know her).
That's my unsolicited advice. Do with it what you will.
Note: Oh yeah, and the brothas on MySpace who say, "So what are you interested in?" and "Tell me a little bit about yourself" when my complete bio is on my page are completely out of order too. Read the page please. Just read the page. Ask me ANYTHING on the page, and I'll talk to you, but not reading the page of a writer/author/journalist is quite a slap in the face and a quick way to get ignored.
Note 2: This book I just finished reading ("King of the Screwups) is the best book I've read in 2009. I loved it! Check this read out asap.
I see it just about every time I go out. I saw it today when I was at Starbuck's writing in my journal. Two motorcyclists sat at the table next to me, holla'd at me for a second, talked for a good five minutes, and then one of them got on the phone. Why do people go out to places with each other, sit face to face, and then talk on the phone to someone else? And then when they're with the "someone else" in person, then they get on the phone to talk to the person they used to be sitting in front of. When did we get to this point that we don't say, "I'm sorry. I'm going to have to call you back because I have company." I NEVER talk on the phone when I have company or am out with someone unless it's business related or they're doing something else.
Case and point, I had an out-of-town associate chill at my spot a few weeks back. She was working on a homework assignment, so I got on the phone and started messing around on the computer. As soon as she was done, I was off. If I have a guy friend over, best believe he has my full attention. I don't even check my email around a guy I'm hollering at. I'd rather do it when he leaves (not that I have anything to hide, but if that's somebody you're interested in, email should come second).
I hate to sit next to someone on the train (although they always manage to sit next to me) who wants to talk on the phone. I'll get up and move or ice grill them in a minute.
I don't follow too many celebrities on Twitter, but I just saw a tweet about one talking about how he was going to beat his wife in UNO. All I was thinking was, "Dude, you're on the road nonstop. Why are you even tweeting? Your full attention should be on your wife!" But she was tweeting about it too, so I guess that's okay. Call me old school, but I feel like if someone is in front of me, they should get 100% of my attention, not 50% while the other 50% is with someone on the phone or on the computer. I try not to even get on the computer while I'm on the phone because I get distracted so easily and folks hang up on me, especially my mother.
When did we get so social phobic to the point where we'd rather talk to someone we can't see versus someone we can touch?
Chicago Defender reporter Kathy Chaney posted this link about what Iman had to say about Michelle Obama. Click here to read it. This is my response in turn. First of all, Iman is NOT pretty to me. She's all right, but I wouldn't walk by her and say, "Oh, she's beautiful." Tyra Banks has her beat by a long shot. Hell, Michelle Obama is far prettier than her to me. I like Iman's fashion line and wear her lipstick shades, but that's where it ends. I'm really getting tired of black women having to find ways to pick on each other. I wouldn't have even written this blog about how funny-looking I think Iman is if not for her goofy comments about Michelle Obama.
Michelle does look a lot prettier than she did when we started seeing her on the scene. I wasn't into the flip hair, but I love how she's rocking the wrap now. I think her eyebrows and bone features are excellent. When I see Michelle Obama, she's striking, and I'd say that even if she wasn't married to Barack Obama.
But my bigger issue is her saying that "When you're a great beauty, it's all downhill." Not true. Not even remotely close. Off the top of my head, I can think of several women who are gorgeous and don't have a bad reputation to ruin it (ex. Regina King, Billie Holiday, Beyonce, MC Lyte, Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, Stacey Dash, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Megan Goode, Gabrielle Union, Lucy Liu, Julia Roberts). I could go on, but you get the picture.
Seriously, sistas, we have GOT to stop trying to find ways to pick at each other. Where is Iman's publicist? What she should have said is how bright the woman is and left it at that. The rest was unnecessary.
I've never been a big drinker, maybe because I've been around hardcore drinkers growing up--functional alcoholics, sloppy alcoholics, social drinkers, and I still remember a party my older brother and I threw where the guy got so tore up that he threw up in front of our bathroom. (Our parents never bothered to ask why that spot was so immaculate, freshly vacuumed and smelled like flowers by the time they got home.) The odds of me drinking are only when I go to clubs, and I may go to a club once a month if that. I used to drink at house parties from time to time, but that was when I thought I was queen liquor drinker and could handle anything. That is, until I was so tore up at my cousin's birthday party that I threw up in the person's cup sitting next to me. Not only was that pitiful, but the joking reputation I got after that wasn't exactly something to be proud of. I've done way too many things in life, and to be remembered (with smiles and laughs) as the drunk at the party just isn't my flavor.
I recall drinking at my (same) cousin's NEXT birthday party and being so tired after I left that I fell asleep at the wheel. I went sliding into the next lane on Lake Shore Drive, and those who are familiar with Chicago no that is the WORST spot to get dozy (well, I-94 might be worse, but still). I slapped myself hard as hell twice and woke up long enough to get home. But after that, I didn't drink for months, and when I do, it's very casual and light. No more than a couple Whiskey Sours (my favorite drink) and I'm done. I've only dated one guy in my whole life who drank heavily, especially after I had an ex whose father was fired for drinking on the job as a teacher. *shaking my head* I saw him with one too many beers and flat out told him he needed to chill. Needless to say, we didn't work out because I saw him going down the same path as his father. I was not willing to let him drag me down that path too.
For those of you out there who have friends who love to be the drunk at the party, stop and ask your friend why. Usually when people drink that heavy and regularly, there are deeper things on their plates and it's not this great love for liquor. If you have a friend getting tore off out of their minds, slow down on your drinking. Somebody has to take him/her home. And if they start trying to remind you about how they got an 'A' in driver's education, let them tell you all that over a cup of coffee at a nearby restaurant or after you've driven them home.
But we really don't need anymore drunks on the road. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) have statistics on their site that say someone is killed every 40 minutes by a drunk driver. 12,998 people died in 2007 from drunk drivers, a 3.7% increase from 2006 with 13,491. But whoop dee doo, there shouldn't have been one person to die from drunk driving. Don't drink unless you have a designated driver. If your designated driver leaves too early or starts drinking, you stop immediately. And if it's looking bad for the both of you, take a cab, take public transportation, or stay at a trusted friend's home. And if you know me, holla at me. I'll come pick you up my damn self. But don't endanger anybody else's life trying to kick it.