Chicago is beautiful. I love the summer months in Chicago, and I especially love living near the lakefront. It's a free way to exercise. I walk miles in the summer months just to go chill on the rocks at the lakefront with a good book and good music, and I'm in a great mood. Now mind you, just because I'm in a good mood doesn't mean I'm grinning and skipping down the street. I'm not quite sure why, and maybe I learned it from the brothas I grew up hanging out with, but I don't walk down the street smiling. It's not that I'm unhappy, but I usually just look calm (in my opinion) but mean (in some men's opinion). I also don't make eye contact unless I'm checking a guy out or if I see something really fashionable on people, I'll stop to compliment them on their attire. Other than that, I'm pretty quiet and minding my business.
As usual, some brothas stopped me walking down the street. Now I have my mp3 player blasting in my ear (that Mike-E Afroflow CD is killing it! If you don't have it, you love positive music, and you want to check out an artist who is not talking about the same boring topics (sex with a bunch of different women, his cars, his clothes, and his money), buy it today! I'm also falling in love all over again with Trey Songz music after interviewing him. He's a very pleasant interviewee, by the way. I remember jumping at the chance to see him perform at Lincoln University (Missouri) my alma mater and cheering him on before folks were up on him.
But I digress. Anyway, so three brothas stopped me (on different blocks) to yell out "You could smile" "Why don't you smile?" and "Put a smile on your face." And all I'm thinking is, "Somebody could've died in my family. I could've just been evicted. I could've found out I had some deadly disease" and you're asking me to smile. Please cut that out. A man never has to tell a woman to smile. When she wants to smile at you, she will, but you can't make her do it on command. It should be genuine. She should look at you and just want to brighten the room with her smile. Someone asking me to smile only makes me turn my lip up. It's vain as hell. Just because she walked by you, she's got to smile? *shaking my head* Instead of telling her to smile, just try something simple. "Hey, how are you doing?" "What are you listening to?" "How's the book so far?" (I was carrying one, as I always do whenever I go anywhere, even to the corner.) "Where's Lincoln University?" (I was wearing my LU jacket. I am a walking commercial for my alma mater, believe that!) Anything. Spark up a casual conversation. But PLEASE stop demanding for her to act like you are her man and she should be happy as shit to see you even though she doesn't know a thing about you.
But I will tell you how you know she's interested and will smile at you. Smile at HER. Just try it. Smiling is contagious. If you smile at her (and be quiet!) and she catches your eye, she may smile back. And if she smiles back and keeps eye contact, MOVE IN! RED ALERT! YOU HAVE A WINNER! I'm telling you, it works. I have yet to NOT smile at a guy I'm interested in. Never. Ever. If he smiles and I'm digging his style, his look, or his calm way of getting my attention, I'm going to throw the whites back at him. But you cannot...NOT...make a woman smile by requesting it like it's a song on the radio (unless you know her).
That's my unsolicited advice. Do with it what you will.
Note: Oh yeah, and the brothas on MySpace who say, "So what are you interested in?" and "Tell me a little bit about yourself" when my complete bio is on my page are completely out of order too. Read the page please. Just read the page. Ask me ANYTHING on the page, and I'll talk to you, but not reading the page of a writer/author/journalist is quite a slap in the face and a quick way to get ignored.
Note 2: This book I just finished reading ("King of the Screwups) is the best book I've read in 2009. I loved it! Check this read out asap.